Keith Lemon The Film

When I started this blog I said I would endeavor to see any film released at my local Cineworld. However there are some films that I absolutely refuse to see, and this is one of them. I can't stand Keith Lemon, and as such I am not going to waste 2 hours of my life going to watch his film.

I have not seen it, but I can confidently say its probably the worst film of the year 0/10

The Expendables 2

When the Original Expendables movie came out, I was amused at the cast list, it seemed that every 20th Century has been Action Hero wanted one last big pay day I mean seriously, most of this cast should have retired before the turn of the century. But now the Expendables 2 has not only got the cast list from the previous film, it has added a couple more. All it needs is Steven Seagal and you might have the complete set!

There are several very funny one liners, especially when they are taking the piss out of themselves. Bruce Willis telling Schwarzenegger "I'll be back" to which Schwazenegger replies "Yippe kay yee"  and at the end when Stallone says "That thing belongs in a Museum" to which Schwarzenegger replies "We all do"


They know this is pushing it a bit far, and this film does not take itself at all seriously, so I am willing to forgive a bit. but you really have to suspend belief in a lot of the rules of physics to actually get through a lot of the holes in this movie. You end up with lots of questions such as "Where did those weapons suddenly come from?" or "How did they know where they were going?" and "How did they catch up with them so fast?"

The Action sequences are laughable, there is no way any human being could really do what Jet Li does in the opening sequence, its so over the top.

So if you are looking for a believable action movie, you are in the wrong place. however for entertainment value and plenty of laughs at the expense of your favourite 20th Century action hero, maybe this is worth a watch. 5/10

The Bourne Legacy

Once you get past the fact that this is a Bourne movie without Bourne, and is the equivalent of a Bond Movie following 008 this actually is not a bad movie. The problem is it is not a Bourne movie, and is not as good as the Bourne Movies.  I assume if they had given it a non Bourne title it would have attracted fewer through the cinema doors, however if you are a fan of the Bourne movies then you may be a little disappointed.

Part of the intrigue with the Bourne trilogy was that there were a lot of unknowns, he didn't know who he was or what Treadstone and Blackfrier were. There is none of this in the Bourne Legacy so the plot line is a little lost.

The Action set-pieces are good, as you expect form these films, but with the lack of underlying story you don't feel the same for Aaron Cross as you did for Jason Bourne.

I don't think showing someone stranded in an Alaskan landscape was really a strong enough opening, it didn't make any statement ahead of the opening credits, and I found myself nit picking continuity errors, and a couple of bits that just didn't seem believable.

All that said, this is a good movie in its own right, although you need some of the bourne backstory to understand it, if I came to this without the previous three movies I would have enjoyed it, The problem is it is trying to be something it is not. 7/10

Brave

With Brave and the Bourne Legacy both out on the same day, both of which I have eagerly anticipated and really wanted to see, I considered taking in both in one evening, however as 6pm came and went with me nowhere near the cinema, I ended up with a choice of which to see first. In the end I opted for Brave first and will see Bourne this evening.

I am a huge fan of Disney Pixar, but their last film, Cars 2, was a bit of a disappointment. But since first seeing the trailer for this a couple months ago, I had eagerly awaited its release on the 3rd of August, only to be disappointed to discover that was the release date in Scotland only, and I had to wait another 10 days (I live on the South coast, so travelling to Scotland was not an option)

The opening scene setting sequence of Up is amongst some of the best animation I have ever seen, and parts of this film are pretty close to being as good, choices of music and emotional voice performances add to its real lovable quality.

This was Pixar back to their best, lots to keep you emotionally involved, and a superb storyline. Great characters, and a superb performance by Kelly Mcdonald. I really felt the chill come from the screen as one particular scene unfolded.

This has to be one of the best animated films of the year 9/10

Step up 4 - Miami Heat

Ever since George Sampson and the Diversity won Britain's got Talent a few years back, and Street Dance became "current" there have been a few of these films. Many of them fall into the trap of being so much about the dance, that the film has very little in the way of plot, and becomes more like a dance show than a movie. Most of the time if they have any semblence of a plot, its a group of no hopers entering a dance contest, which in the end they win. This, thankfully, manages to avoid that trap.

I saw it in 2D so can't comment on whether the 3D adds anything, but I tend to prefer live action films in 2D and leave the 3D for animated movies when they can be a bit more creative with it.

I really enjoyed this film, some really stunning dance "flash mob" sequences, but without losing the fact that it is a film with a plot that needs to move forward. Well developed characters, with lead actors who can act as well as they can dance.

All in all this is one of the better street dance movies if this is your thing I would recommend it 8/10

Post Olympic filmfest

I guess the distributors were all looking at the olympics as a major barrier to getting people into the cinema (and they were probably right, see my entry for Diary of a Wimpy Kid) so immediately after the olympics has finished there is a whole mass of films being released.
Step-up 4, Brave, The Bourne Legacy and The Expendables 2 are all out in the next week, should be a great week of film fun, Im looking forward to it.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid - Dog Days

Normally with a film released on a Friday, I would have gone to the cinema on Friday night to see it, but with team GB doing so well in the Olympics, just getting off my sofa to go to the cinema proved difficult, especially as this was not one of my must see films.

So having managed to work out the best time to see this, without disrupting my Olympic viewing too much, I found myself in a Sunday Lunchtime showing, surrounded by a load of kids, watching a film for which I am not really the target audience, so I was in a bad mood to start with.

The film did little to lift my mood, I was bored fairly quickly and wishing it to end so I could get back to my TV. It's not that its a bad film, but its not that good either. My main response to this film was indifference, it did little to raise any sort of emotion in me whatsoever, which in many ways is worse than it being really poor, at least when a film is awful I can get worked up in my criticism and hatred.

There were very few real laugh out loud moments, a couple of good snigger moments I guess, but nothing to really stretch the laughter muscles.

One slight warning, this film has a U certificate, which in theory means that its suitable for children over 4. There are a couple of moments, and one in particular, that made me a little uncomfortable with that rating, perhaps it should have been a PG, I wouldn't take a 4 year old to see it.

The Kids around me seemed to enjoy it, but if you are an adult looking for a laugh, I highly recommend you go and see Ted 5/10